I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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