i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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