btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
