Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
