guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
