do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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