I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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