Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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