He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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