the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MIDGETS
????
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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