What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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