Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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