addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
