Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
