Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
