she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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