I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
