Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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