Banned from zoo.
Again?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
