There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
