Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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