Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
