i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
