the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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