i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
