PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
