going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize