oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
