Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
