I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
