Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
