I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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