Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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