Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Two words: nipple clamps
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