we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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