Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize