This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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