She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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