She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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