u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
