Its about making memories worth repressing
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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