Already got asked if we're dating
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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