So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My feet surprised me
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