Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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