STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
