Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
