I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
