What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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