No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
