I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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