Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
