dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
