OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
