Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
