I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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