Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
