I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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