Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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