Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
