Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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