Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
