What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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