They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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