i permit you to call me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All the doctor said was why
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
