What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize