brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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