i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
