So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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