let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
