You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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