im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
