Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
