I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
