The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
sick fucks of a feather flock together
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
