Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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