you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize