it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
