Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
bring money and cleavage
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
